“Converse works out a deal with McDonald’s and the end result is the new Premium McWrap!”
In a parody reflected in true life, I imagine that the CEO of Converse Shoes is excited to finally find an outlet for the rubbery scraps of soles leftover from making the Converse low top. The end result, ironically, is a sole-less marriage with the McDonald’s McWrap.
McDonald’s CEO exclaims, “We are excited to finally find an inexpensive, tasteless, chicken-like substance that holds up to our strenuous cooking processes!” With this, the McDonald’s Premium McWrap is born.
What I found in my first bite was a rubberized, steamed pile of “chicken” squares wrapped in the lifeless vessel that McDonald’s seems to think is a tortilla. I picture a factory of life- and flavor-sucking zombies being paid to lick each tortilla as it leaves the factory floor in Louisiana (where all zombies originate if you know your zombie lore) and thereby rendering them tasteless. Combined with the rubberized chicken, the word that comes to mind is “bland.” It was like being kissed by your grandmother and getting that weird premonition that she might have liked it. Just plain wrong.
Bone to pick: Well, not really a “bone” in the literal sense because I’m pretty sure that bones are not used to manufacture Converse shoes. I mean that I have a bone to pick with McDonald’s, because they own the franchise, Chipotle, who clearly know how to make tortillas and delicious chicken. Why the disconnect, McDonald’s? Why not take what is working wonders at one franchise and impart/import that knowledge and taste to your other?
Of all the places to eat in Tucson, where you might get a “wrap-like” meal, McDonald’s is not one of them. For me, it’s McYuck when it comes to McDonald’s McWrap.
Boca on Speedway and SoHo on Campbell come to mind as being among the best places to get this kind of meal from restaurants in Tucson, AZ. McDonald’s needs to go back to their roots of hamburgers and fries for children and teenagers who don’t know any better. If you are going to bring a tortilla product to Tucson, Arizona, you need to bring your “A” game.
I’ll spare you the website and location because I like you. You’re welcome.